Compromise: The Art of Give and Take


When it comes to dating, many people forget that in order for both parties to be pleased, each person must be willing to compromise. Before entering a relationship, you should already have an idea of the things you’re willing to compromise on. Also, consider what your deal breakers are so things don’t become complicated due to you trying to figure it out along the way.

If you feel like compromising is the end of the world then you might want to reevaluate if you are ready to date or be in a relationship during this time in your life. Everyone has selfish years but don’t be selfish to the point that you waste someone else’s time; knowing you aren’t really ready. As I mentioned, relationships are all about give and take but you shouldn’t take more than you are willing to give. There should be an equal amount from both people. Compromising creates balance so each person can be happy, however if the things your significant other would like you to compromise on makes you uncomfortable or goes against the things you believe in, you might want to discuss those issues. Don’t compromise on things that go against your morals and values because if you do, won’t truly end up happy anyway. For example, if it’s a family tradition for you to go to church on Sundays and your partner prefers that Sundays be spent sleeping in late then I suggest communicating why it’s important for you to attend the service. If your partner respects the things that you believe in and are important to you then it shouldn’t be a problem. A prime example of healthy compromising: let’s say hypothetically, the woman feels like she doesn’t get enough “me time” because she’s always stuck picking up their daughter from ballet practice. The father agrees to give up poker twice a month so that they can rotate picking up their child. Neither person feels like they are giving up something and everybody ends up happy.

Have realistic expectations! You can’t expect someone else to compromise or put up with things that you aren’t willing to yourself. Start discussing real life issues with whom you’re dating so you’ll know if you really like them for who they are and not just because you both have commonalities.

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